And, moreso, on the business side of things…
A while back, I was lucky enough to grab myself a copy of Danielle LaPorte‘s “The FireStarter Sessions: A Digital Experience for Entrepreneurs.” The book really is completely packed with information: worksheets, links to articles on Danielle’s blog, “white hot truth,” videos, interviews… Not only that, but Danielle spent about 3 months working on the book and in the first day of it’s release, she made about $11,000. Yes, in a day.
Now that’s marketing!
When Danielle offered a chance to interview her regarding the book, I jumped on it 
I love being able to interview people who have written books that I’ve read, especially when they state that I should question what they’ve said, rather than take it at face-value
Let me tell you–if you’re wanting to either start your own business or to redefine what you do–and ultimately, discover what you want out of yourself, this is where you need to go to start to determine exactly what you want to do. I’m slowly working my way through the Worksheets o’ Fire, developing my business plan. Why slowly? Because there’s a LOT of information here I need to digest and to think about.
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In one of the beginning sections–The Best Business Advice You Ever Received–you state “F*ck your principles.” So far, for me, anyway, this has been the one piece of advice that it’s difficult to reconcile myself with. In the situation you had, I’m not sure that you really gave up your principles–you just stopped trying to force the Producer Girls to learn them. And that couldn’t have been easy–at all.
This section really has made me stop and think about when I should defend my principles and when it’s ok to just let it go. Not everyone holds the same things dear that I do, but that distinction of when I should defend them or when I should just let it go can be blurred. I may want to “teach someone a lesson,” but it can be less stressful if I just let it go and stop dealing with them.
Did I understand this lesson the way you intended? Or did I miss something?
There’s certainly the “teach someone a lesson” dynamic that I’m getting at with my “eff your principles” schpeal. And what a colossal waste of energy that can be. The ego just loves teaching lessons and making sure that people get what’s coming to them.
The other layer is that our principles might become very entrenched in our consciousness and they can actually block our power and intelligence and compassion. Principles can become outdated; they can be adopted – without much thought or question; they can be so righteous that they restrict us from making exceptions or moving on. We tend to think that holding true to our principles makes us look noble or strong, but sometimes, the wisest thing to do is to let it go, which may look like going against or abandoning your so called principles.
I think the proverbial high road doesn’t have as much room for principles.
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As the mother of a preschooler who is autistic, it’s difficult sometimes to find my own passion because the majority of my time is spent taking care of my daughter. And then when I have my time alone to do something, to go forth and bring my reckoning (so to speak), I’m so exhausted from the physical and emotional toll of taking care of her all day.
I think you’re a mother as well, aren’t you? Do you have any suggestions for those of us who have young children as to how to structure our time? I think that’s probably one of THE biggest problems for any stay-at-home parent: how to manage your time with small children.
You’ve got a lot going on!
Stay-at-home parents/entrepreneurs need support systems that are livelihood-focused. A coach, a master mind group, even an on-line forum can do wonders. You need a culture of cheerleaders and fellow strategists who are going to be way more intriguing and stimulating than putting away the laundry or picking up toys; who are going to hold you accountable; who are going to stretch your thinking and give you how-to’s.
Rad’ notion: hire a sitter so you can work on your business. And you need to get outta the house. Cafes exist for stay at home mamas who want to build their empires. When my son was a baby, I’d drive him ’round until he fell asleep, find a place to park, and I’d write in the front seat while he snored. Whatever it took to carve out creative time, I did it.
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Passion.
While I have things I’m interested in, sometimes it feels as though the passion is there–I’m just afraid of doing it. Perhaps because I’m afraid the candle of my passion is going to be lit at both ends and burn itself out very quickly.
I am so hungry for passion and to start my own fires–one of the reasons I purchased the FireStarter Sessions–but sometimes so paralyzed with fear and anxiety (what if this isn’t it, what if I get bored with this too, what if I fail, what if I’m NOT the best) that even getting started can be nerve-wracking.
How do you ensure you DON’T burn the candle at both ends? And, if you do, how would you suggest handling it and getting back to setting fires?
So what if you burn the candle at both ends? It’s good for the sake of comparison. Balance is a myth. Moderation is a drag. And burn out has gotten a bad rap. Look, I’m 100% for peace, proportion, and deep, deep wellness — and I think that comes from throwing yourself into things and getting messy, which is far superior to the fear and apathy that can stop us. Often times, doing anything is better than doing nothing.
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I have met people in the past who it seemed either had no passion for anything or who didn’t show it during the time I spent with them. Sometimes it seems there are a lot of people out in the world who just do what they have to in order to get by.
How can you convince these people that they are worthy of having desires and passions? I guess, I should also ask, CAN you convince people?
Ultimately, I think sometimes that it goes back to everyone makes the choices for their own lives. And I can’t choose someone’s life for them and maybe they’re happy the way they are… For me, it’s just so frustrating to see people who have settled for the life they have when they could be leading the life they want.
You can choose to shine and hope that the light of your own struggle and wisdom inspires other people to shine. Conversion attempts, worry, convincing — major waste of time. Shining is much more efficient. And fun.
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And finally, one last question: let’s talk about money.
I’ve read Havi’s (of The Fluent Self) posts on why she charges what she does (and part of me would happily pay it–IF I had it to spend). I’ve read Naomi’s (of IttyBiz) posts on customers having to value what they are purchasing more than what they would normally spend their money on.
What I /don’t/ get is how to get there in the first place. I guess part of it stems from not knowing exactly what I have of value to offer people in the first place (something I hope the FSS will help me realize) and, secondly, not having the confidence in myself that the understanding would inspire.
Value positioning begins with experimentation. You need to put yourself out there and see what happens. And not long after, after you have some data, responses, experience, you need to stand in your value and radiate.
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What does money mean to you? And how did you choose the pricing for your FSS and your consulting sessions? Do you agree with Havi’s “red velvet rope” idea–the idea of money setting a marker saying who her Right People are?
Money is energy. And just like technology, it needs to be used “appropriately” if you want it to create freedom and efficiency. I love what money can do. I love pairing meaningful work with cash.
I love being intentional with all of it.
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Thanks, Danielle, for your answers!!
Danielle LaPorte is the creator of WhiteHotTruth.com, which has been called “the best place on-line for kick-ass spirituality.” An inspirational speaker and business strategist, and former think tank exec, Danielle’s new digital book, THE FIRE STARTER SESSIONS helps entrepreneurs rock their career with integrity, audacity and their truest strengths. You can find her on Twitter @daniellelaporte
My review of The FireStarter Sessions is forthcoming.
